Friday, April 11, 2014

Hi. My name is Bill. I'm a golfer...

I'm watchin' The Masters golf tournament. As a recovering golfer, I'm really not sure why. I used to be insanely obsessed with the game...I'd return home after a round and then recount the entire debacle. I don't think there has ever been any other pursuit disguised as recreation that prompts more comments like, "If I only could've...", or "I should've..." or "I QUIT!!!..."  If not kept under control, addiction sets in...
The golfing gods will tempt you, tease you and tell you lies. "Maybe a new set of irons is what I need..." "Maybe a new driver will turn things around..." "Maybe if I sawed my right hand off that would cure my slice..." I plead guilty to believing those first two fantasies. Fortunately I quit the game before #3 would lead me to answer to "Lefty".
I have taken practice swings in a car dealership, a church and a cemetery. Think about that for a second. A seemingly sane grown guy "pretends" he's swinging a golf club in, what most people would consider to be, inappropriate locations. Yet, it's viewed as relatively normal. If you were to mimic any other motion, you would be deemed a bit off. Try it. Pretend you're throwing a pitch, act like you're casting an invisible fishing line, or imagine you're makin' a free throw, and you'll find yourself under observation. And, there's the proof that society views golfers as normal. And that's crazy.
If you're thinking of taking up the game, don't.
If you play the game and you love it, it's not too late. Quit.
It's easy. I've done it a million times....

1 comment:

  1. Reminds me of a guy I used to work with who distinguished the difference between "a drinking man" and "a man who takes a drink." Are you a "golfer" - or "a man who plays golf?"